Bidding goodbye to 2013.

fucking one more day to the end of 2013 hip hip hooorayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy

shall throw back to nearly a week ago to start my post!!!! life has been pretty well for me for the past few weeks, at least, i wanna view it this way. :) so actually work has been taking up most of my time.. and by that i really mean like almost everyday!!! but i am glad for the wonderful and cute colleagues i have ^_^ on days whereby i have my off days, i will head out for a simple meal or retail therapy which obviously all girls need!!! 

but on the 23rd felicia me and didier decided to have something different!!!! we decided to head to timbre for my long awaited duck pizza and also a chill out session!! turned out to be pretty good as the atmosphere were fine and all. I mean, it's really good to have two of your close friends to be around and chattering under the great music too. Work followed the next day but it's fine because i had a splendid christmas!!! Caught a movie with asshole xuanliang and then headed town to meet up with the others for our sakae buffet!!! i think i gained tons of tonnes after that meal, no joke!!!! it was such a heavy meal and by the time i finished i could hardly stand straight HAHAHAHA

and we met again on the 26th for our chalet!!! Once again, a great night drowning in what is wrong but this time round a little bit more serious with me doing the most hideous thing ever. Wasn't expecting that to come but it was surely something i was suppressing the whole night which i finally let it go when i was k.o. Thanks to every single one that night who took special care of us and cheers to the best party of the year. (which we claimed haha) 

& just yesterday it was my baobei yeauyeau birthday!!! surprised him when he's finally homed from his celebration the whole day. I hope he enjoyed the the surprise as much as we did!!! The night was great with my precious babies once again. ^__^

Pretty glad the last few days of my 2013 ended like this and i really have to put down this regret as soon as possible, hoping and telling myself not to bring into the year 2014. It was such a great week, and hereby when i mean great, i can really say it's the best 7 days in 2013. It beats the rest of the days. & surprisingly, all we took was a week. From the start i knew we will not, and we can never work out but what's wrong with giving it a go? I know from the start you are probably just gonna toy with me but i feel this time round it's something different. It's not like the past when you will just go whenever you like. This time round you took a step more, and i like that. But what's the point now when once the missing puzzle in your life has been fixed, i am all kicked out once again. Oh well, maybe i mistaken every single action of yours. How stupid can i get. Should have known earlier, stupid crystal. If only i did not drown myself in your pool of lies, i can see even clearer that all these are merely temporary. What's hardest now is to put down all these happy things just because it had happened and it's never to happen again. So unfair to me, dont you think so? You can just sweep me off whenever you like and coming back anytime, what's this?

Now that i am just a day away from 2014, i shall take this chance to reflect upon my super hectic 2013. For the past 12 months, it seems to pass... quick, yet at the same time so slow. How do i put this... Maybe it's because 2013 is really the year that taught me alot. Way too many things, that a mind of a sixteen years old will understand and absorb, and also the year i got explored to so many new things. ( not naughty things la) 

Still remembered how 2013 started.... Kinda dreaded it because it's my major exams year which means studies studies and studies. & that's right, i did nearly spent my whole year studying :-( At the start of the year, i had a simple resolution. 

If it makes you happy, do it.

If it doesn't makes you happy, don't do it. 

As simple as that, & i am pretty sure i've kept to my own promise. Even though at times under certain circumstances we were forced to not do what we like, that is a way to saw us to better people. 

& it's pretty undeniable that i changed.. right? :-)

To the new year to the studying(almost everyday)....

so glad to have my group of girls that stick throughout with me. my 2013 was so good with the company of the four of them. To the who-cares laughters to the concerns to the care we give to each other, i love how they made up my 2013. How we always want to have retail therapy together to how we always complain how tiring SYF is killing us to how we always bitch about other people, you girls made up a super big part of my fun in 2013! 

Not forgetting how my 16th birthday... it was so great, such a blast, such a fortunate girl i am. 

heading on to the later half of the year, many of us became even more hardworking because the days to o levels became lesser and lesser, with the number of night studies being more and more. damn... missing the feeling of studying now. :-( However, fun was still included in the midst of our busy study schedules!!! & did i mention how much i love my girls in class? i know i may have repeated this many times but i really cannnnnnnnnnot imagine classes without them. :(

so many occassions, so many birthdays, so many outings, they are all what made up my 2013. Moving on, of course we have the most important events in my last year in mayflower. 

FUCKING GRADUATION AND PROM NIGHT WOOHOOOOOOOOO

*skips o levels part it's like the hell of my 2013 so skip thanks*

One of the best night in my 2013, i can say. Loving those relationship with my schoolmates and those close friends i've gained that sticked through thick and thin with me. Ending my secondary school life with this night may be the best thing of all. Throwing away all the fucking sadness in me whenever now and then, 2013 turned me into a person like this today. 

personally, i feel that 2013 is really a roller-coaster year, filled with tears, happiness, dramas, angers and what's more. & just like that... 2013 blink past in an eye. A year after a year, a year older as each year past, the responsibility on the shoulder gets heavier. 

Now 2014 awaits me, i know i should continue to be brave and not hide at the sigh of any hindrance or obstacles faced. In the new year, the resolution will not change, but instead, added a bit more. Other than doing what makes me happy, i must learn to be appreciative and love people. 

Throughout the year i grew so much. I have learnt that i should cherish those by our side, we never know when they are going to leave us, especially our kins. I started loving those alone times whereby i'm free from any distractions and merely spending time with myself. My life then became more meaningful when fun, happiness and my loved ones are around me. I see myself struggling to get up from a pool of troubles at times but i know these are what turns me into better person. After every problem resolved, i'd always question myself whether i deserve all these. Everytime people say i simply do not deserve the hurt that i am receiving, what rights do i have to defend myself? What if i am the one that allow these pains to enter my soul? Whatever it is, i am really very appreciative to those who always assure me that they will always stick by me and by that, they really showed. Perhaps many things have changed, but something that will never change shall be the perspective i have towards every single thing. People leave and go, take that shit, i always told myself. note to self : do not dwell on this in the new year!!!! HAHAHA ANNOYING CRYSTAL 

Before i end this off, i would like to take this chance to thank those who stayed through my side this year once again. You know who you are, i know i am blessed to have you all sticking around. Let's toast to a better 2014! But let's not expect much, just a little bit better than 2013 will do, huh right? ^_^ All the best in 2014, everyone!!!!! & now i can't wait for my countdown partyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!!!1

I hope you would stay for long. You're so special 

kuai kuai update you kuai kuai see

 

Work has been slogging my energy off every single day but nevertheless, i love my work. it's always so entertaining even though it gets boring at times... ok so let's see.. ok my memory is bad i cant remember what i did for the past few days/weeks. but specially this day, which happened only like four days ago, the four of us finally picked out time to have a date with our dear mr vicknesh :-) OR IS IT JUST ME WHO'S SO BUSY THE THREE OF THEM BLAMED ME FOR THE SUPER LATE DINNER HAHAH LOVE YOU BABIES. anyway, it was so good seeing them again. It's not about the food or the amount of money spent or what, it's often the company that made everything so much better. The night ended so well with the live band at dempsey with our yumyum ben and jerry. Loving times like this where we are all so comfortable with each other's presence. & also a big thanks to mr vick who really said somethings that shook me up from the life i am currently leading. I admit at times we all get a little too wild but do know our limits, am so glad that we had such a good talk that night. A pity that we met up for only a short while :-( ohya!!!! dont you think chester was looking so good that night!!! with his radiant face and all!! and am so proud of my baobei fel who spent such a bomb on her body :-( 

and just yesterday, the sweetie pies evelyn and felicia came to surprised me at my workplace that totally took me aback.... up till now i guess it's only the two of them who know the exact location of my workplace. such sweet gesture of them, i know i cant get anymore fortunate to have them sticking around, always so ready to be there, always teaching me new things( but no naughty naughty ah) HAHAHAHA. can't wait for the 26th now!!!! 

Pray on the 19th i will see the 3 of them jumping with joy to me love you babies :-* 

Things haven't been going really well these few days but what else to do other than using my busy schedule to get all these thoughts out of my head? so finally on my off day today, after dont know how many million years, i got the chance to meet my dear linhui. :-( & that explains why my insta picture was like captioned today blue moon because it's really once in a blue moon thing that we meet!! But it's always so comfy with her around, telling her almost every single thing i can think of, and also she updating me on her life. Friends like these, you never never say no to them. Also visited my baobei tricia at her workplace where she ranted so much how tiring she is haha so annoying but jiayou darling!!!! :-* the day ended good with our sushi buffet that both of us have been craving ^_^

So many thoughts have been running in my mind but hell no, it's the season of happiness!!! so glad that christmas is around the corner and i can't wait to spend with my dearest!!! Hopefully my dearest clique will be able to make it for our date on christmas, it has been such a long time since the five of us have been together. Miss you all so much my darlings :-( 

A pity that we couldn't turn out the way we wanted to be. I can feel all these but i know probably at the end of the day you're just gonna use me as a substitution, which i definitely wouldn't want to. But i am falling like a quicksand, i can't get myself out of this shit situation that prolly you don't even know. Where have the real two of us been? Where we never fear to pour out everything to each other? Can't you feel the change? I hate how i unknowingly distance myself from you, and hate how you never tried to pull me back. It's just words and words and more words. where the fuck are your actions? fuck 

Now that it's just two more weeks to 2014, i can only say that 2013 is really a year full of lessons. Goodnight everybody, work's on again tomorrow. :-) 

Nearly a quarter after one, and missing you really badly. Definitely not the song but a true deep felt ouch i tried to suppress for the whole of this period. I did all i can to not let this feeling resurface but apparently it's so strong. Told myself to put you down after all the crap you did and reminding myself how a jerk you are but no, these memories aint leaving. They are staying, for real. 

And to receive such a huge dealt while in the meanwhile of the fucking painful process means a double or even triple burden. The pain increased, until you can literally feel your heart cringing. Yeah that's it, the feeling that can't be said but felt, the pain that comes to me every single night without fail. 

And knowing you are disappointing people unknowingly can't be any better either. Hope things could turn out for the better i surely need a trip down the beach, for the sea for the breathe i have been longing for ages. 

I have got so much to update onto this blog but...... 

I LOST MY PHONE. I am so so so upset......... Why cant my phone walk back or run back or scream for help when a stranger took it :-( 

So now it's kind of inconvenient for me to update thia blog without the necessary photos. Plus work has started about a week ago... Busy crystal cant get any much busier :-( but i promise to have a good post up asap!!!!!! Work is killing but i am glad colleagues are still quite nice haha keyword quite but aiya nvm lucky this is only a part time job!!!! 

So all those who have my contact number in your phone, kindly text or whatsapp me!!!!! I would love to have almost all my contacts back :-( 

 何必我们要假装没有爱过

I must be lying if i said my heart doesnt aches upon your leaving. But you aint even giving me a chance to ask you to stay. What can i do?

Here we go again,
With your mixed signals and my second thoughts.

It has been such a tiring day fighting with the emotions I can't do this