A thought to ponder

“What’s the worst thing I’ve stolen? Probably little pieces of other people’s lives. Where I’ve either wasted their time or hurt them in some way. That’s the worst thing you can steal, the time of other people. You just can’t get that back.” 

It's the last month of the year and can't help but to look back for the past 11 months. It has been such a rollercoaster ride, and honestly 2014 is the year I learnt so much. In regardless of which aspect, I feel that I have really grown up as a whole. I no longer dwell on the fact that people leave, but the fact that I am wasting people's time and efforts on me. It pricks me quite a lot that people do spend the time and efforts on me and yet what I returned is nothing but a bunch of bullshits. I am utterly sorry if i have ever done so to you because i am regretting so much right now. However, none of us could turn back time and all I can do now is to ensure I stop all these nonsensical scars I am leaving on others' life. All in all, I am glad some of you left me and found someone whom you really love because i am really happy for you. :-) 

Can't wait for a brand new year!!! xx

Decided to drop by this platform for awhile to rant my negative thoughts. This site has been with me for quite some time and honestly I thought it would be nice for me to look back here in ten years time and actually laugh at how silly I was, getting upset and all over some issues. But tonight, it's one of those rare nights I couldn't go to sleep, and it has been quite some time since my emotions start to resurface again. 

I was doing well for the past few months; not entirely smooth-sailing but still positivity all within my sight. All was good, and i was very thankful for everyone around me. Things seem to be going all so wonderful for me, be it felicia and company ending their o levels, secondary school friends all being so sweet, poly friends, dragonboat, HOT, or even missing the clique, everything feels so in piece. I feel so filled, i was not empty anymore, or should i put it this way, I stopped feeling empty. The missing piece was filled up, I was happy. :-)

I know such nights will not come often but tonight I crumbled, shattered right into pieces I couldn't even bother to pick up. Too many things have happened and they made my demons to resurface once more. It's scaring me how these emotions have the ability to take over me. 

Nearly 4am and I have to wake up at 6plus for school, just.. so crazy, so exhausting.

 

"Because when you left, you took the happiest me together with you. Now that I am left with just pieces of me, I find no meaning of putting them back together. "

They said a day without any laughter would mean a day wasted. At the start of every brand new day, I would tell myself to let whatever happened yesterday to stay where they are and i move forward in my life because this is my life. However at times to come, I realized how I am deceiving myself, how i have now come to senses that i no longer have to wish for this as it doesn't really come true. Hence right now, i just want to stay around my happy pills, i just want to be happy. Underneath this always outgoing happy crystal lies one dark shade of grey I wouldn't want to reveal, i want to remain who I am this way, please just let me be. I just want to stay happy, I just want to fool around, so what's with all these negative stuffs? This tiredness from all these shits is swallowing me up sigh

xx

Just something i wanna share with everyone out there who's going through a hard day:-)  

Hi there, I have moved on to an easier platform on dayre! 

Do catch me there!!! Meanwhile I hope i can leave this platform for the time being! see you guys! 

Nights like these I just can't help but to look back at everything. 
When can I ever realize that not everyone is as appreciative, not everyone is as loving? 

Pinky promise to you guys that a proper post will be up soon after this week ends! can't wait to see my loved ones this whole week :-)