lol why are all of you so selfish.. why are all of you so judgemental.. why is it so hard to even feel happy for a single day, what's wrong with everyone's words affecting me so easily. Try putting yourself in my shoes, how would you feel? why not you try sparing a thought for people? it is that difficult? is it that easy to just leave? why does it seems so easy for all of you to be acting like nothing has happened... i miss all of you.

but at least on a happier note, bkk trip with the bestieoon is tomorrow. can't wait to see her for four days straight. nothing can be better than this. :-)

what if i said i need you

 DID I MENTION O LEVELS IS FUCKING OVER SOMEONE PLEASE TELL ME HOW I SURVIVED THIS TOUGH PERIOD 
AH WHATEVER I DID WOOOOHOOOOO

Throwback to today, 14november where it has been such a hectic day for me!!! but luckily my night ended so well with the two ladies above when we celebrated dilys's 16th. :-) and so glad yan is willing to hear me rant for nearly an hour while waiting for dilys to end her taekwando. A great ending for the day. :-)))))

happy glen with his present and cake ^_^

 throwback to my favourite group of assholes. ^_^
so... how do i go about saying this.. ok here it is. we've been planning for glen's birthday and finally all of us settled on the day i ended my o levels. so we tried all means and ways to get glen's ass out of his place and we met at the beautiful clarke quay. wanted to take a ride on the (bouncing ride. ok go and research idk what is it called haha) but got restraint la hor hahahaha ^_^ so we need to settle our grumbling stomachs before glen reached and the face he gave when he saw us all eating was... too hilarious. he was really shocked to see us i could say! and then we went back by the river to take some photos and have the birthday(belated) boy to blow his cake! and my bros were great, to think they can lift a fat crystal just by me placing my arms on their necks!!!! YAYYYZZZZZ. & thereafter we went to walk around and finally settled another round of food in angmokio before parting with them after some stupid actions we did outside jubilee HAHAHAHA. Now i know why they say your character is carved through the group of friends you hang out with. HAHAHAHAHAH :))))) happy 16th glen lim!! remember i will always accept you regardless how you look ok ^^

 throwback to one of the days.... i forgot when with my favourite bitchhhhhh
 we went for our job interview and yayyyzzzzz work is starting once december kicks in!! cant wait heehee. and we went to a place and i swear it has the most magnificent view ever. You can literally see the whole orchard........ TIAN AH. and tamade my self esteem when i am beside this girl....... *waves goodbye to it*

  throwback to my meeting with annoyingpeh after 1297453083267463298475864574256 years
and yeah, we were complaining how much we missed each other and we haven't been meeting for ages since busy crystal is forever so busy with the burden o levels. so once i had the short break in between my papers, we went out!!! though it's just a short while, doesn't it feels good to be seeing your best friend and hearing her rant whatever she needs to assure that she is happy? For me, i do. Hence it's all worthwhile i guess ;-) (cry leh fel cry ok)

throwback to now ok come back now don't go too backwards in my life k thanks 
Life has been ever so busy ever since o levels ended, and i am foreseeing much much more events lining up in my life already!!! can't wait for december to kick in, it's my favourite season, CHRISTMAS!!!! can you handle my excitement ahhhhhh can't wait for those parties and exchange of presents!!!! ^^ & most importantly, my bangkok trip on sunday with the best friend oon which both of us has been anticipating ever since this trip has been confirmed!!! WHO THE FUCK GETS THE OPPORTUNITY TO TRAVEL WITH YOUR BEST FRIEND AT THE AGE OF 16 YOU TELL ME HAHAHAHAAHAH. Can't wait to see this silly girl of mine who i have not been seeing ever since september sobzzzzzz :-((((((( 

" To see someone happy and bubbly most of the time to actually have so much pain deep down inside that she never dared, never ever dared to let out. If only someone could see the pain from her eyes, that will be great. At least she wouldn’t feel alone." [if you've been reading her blog, you would know where i extracted this from. :-) ] Just something i would love to share. How true can this get? Probably the happiest person around you has the saddest story to share. Be considerate, look around, look for the girl with the broken smile and ask if she's alright. It's not that hard to ask if someone's fine. & you never know, that would probably make their day. :-) 
Though days have been fun and all but somethings never fail to remind me how i am facing some problems that i know that can never be settled. I try so hard every single day to tell myself that life is good and who the fuck am i kidding that i am upset and all.. i just feel that i should be happy. I mean, i have the loveliest friends, family and whatsoever that i need. But.. that emptiness recently is causing so much pain. You really have no idea how much your words hurt. Tell me, i do not deserve all these do i. You are not letting it go, are you. Please don't. As much as i want to keep you by my side, i took a step back and ponder, haha who am i to hold you back. ah whatever, you know what's the best for you. Just tell me if ever you were to leave. but never tell me that i took you for granted. you know i never once did, and i will never do that. never would i.

maybe it's all too late. 

Goodnight kiddos it's 2am right now am so tired with all these bullshits sleep well people love you allllllz 

Fucking bad night, as usual. Scrolled through the contact list, in hope of someone, and yet went back to my books. What to do? it's like in life, it's a must to give and you can't expect to receive anything back. Lol i merely need a breathe is that even so tough

Toughen up crystal

O levels please end soon. Really please.. I need my beauty sleep as soon as possible: -(

No matter how much i hate that i have to sleep with this heavy heart, i know i am more fortunate than alot more people out there. Just last night, one of my sec3 junior passed away.how fragile life can get? way much than anyone can think of. So whenever you are sad or really depressed, why not take the time, reflect on how you have not told your loved ones that you really love them? Why, instead of being sad and emo and all, take the chance to realise, the sadness that you are experiencing, can never be compared to the family memebers of those who lost their dearest kins. Up till this moment, what i had just said may just be mere bullshits to you bc i know, at the end of the day, it's hard to kick away a certain kind of sadness. It's like.. it's stick to you forever. it's like, you are numb to it. Or should i even put it in a sense that, you cant get rid of that numbness.

zzz it's hurting so fucking much right now i dont fucking deserve this
I thought this feeling had been gone, for good. I let it fade, and I thought it did. But who am I
kidding. It's still here. It's never going away. I hate it.

Always tell yourself, the people who matter dont mind, the people who mind, definitely dont matter.

Finallyzzzzzzz....
A short break before the end of o levels!!!!! Fuck yeah i am so glad this break came before my chinese paper starts on next wednesday and with two more mcqs, i am fucking done with o levels!!!!! I really cant wait for that!!
But anyway, o levels was good and bad i feel. The worst was history. Oh god.... I have zero idea what cambridge was thinking but it's ok, i hope this is when bellcurve helps ^_^
stay tuned for a proper post after o levels!!! Meanwhile, all the best still everyone. :-)

For they say, the most painful goodbye is when your heart feels it before the ear does. Goodnight.

A really quick post before o levels arrive in about four days time. It has been such a tiring last lap and i am sure i am not the only one who wants it to end as soon as possible.
All the best everyone, have faith in yourself, you will do well. Push on! ;-)

A special day.

It has been really long since i sat down in front of my computer to type a blog post as online blogging is always easy with the help of blogger app. Now, let me take this chance to commemorate this special day. 

My graduation day 2013. 

i like this photo above alot!!! :-)

So yeah, as usual, we assembled and had to go through a dry run for our prom. Sounds pretty ridiculous but yeah, it's fine anyway we had fun taking photos while it's going on. Atmosphere was still uplifting so we kept on saying we will control and not to cry!!!! HAHAHAHAHA

and it's time for the real thing!!! ^_^
I was really excited for our class speech and video as many of us did put in the effort to finish up this video! Other classes speeches and videos were equally well i feel! Really got the graduating feel :-) wenning started tearing at the video and when we went up the stage to receive our graduate certificate, the girls hugged Miss Ng while the guys hugged Mr Chen!! AND YAYYYYYY MISS NG CRIED!! our mission is accomplished!!! & it feels really warm to be in their hugs! A reason why human beings loved being hugged. :-) And after us the sec5 classes started hugging their teachers too, haha trend starters is always our class *laughing emoji* At the last segment, our form teachers came to light our candle up and ...

we are officially graduated!!!!!!! HOOOOORAYSSSSSSSS

3/4 Justice. 

A very special class that i will never ever forget. Despite all the troubles and nonsense we give to teachers, our class has this very special strong bond that unite all of us, heart by heart. These 2 years with each and single one of you is great. I really really can't ask for more. You guys are such a fun bunch of people that are going to be missed dearly when we've all parted. All the fun and laughters and sadness and nonsense you people contributed and shared with me, all these will be kept dearly, kept closely to me. I will never forget how some of you tried to help me, building me to be a better person. You guys are wonderful, i've never gotten such a great class ever. A small class like us, yet having the big heart in everyone of us. hereby, i wish all of you a very best for our major exam that we have been preparing for the past few months. Regardless what routes we are going to take after the release of results, the thing i can assure all of you is that the memories we shared will never ever be gone. Once a justician, always a justician. :-) I love you guys so much!!!!!!

Not to forget, these few teachers that have never gave up on me. Never once did they, no matter how bad my results were once were. Deep down, i have such great gratitude to express but other than thank you, i realised there's no words to express this gratitude i have for all of you. The only way i can show my gratitude is through my results. And at end of january next year, i will bring it proudly to all of you. Thank you Mr Chen, Miss Ng, Mr Vicknesh!!!! :-) 

and yayyyyyyy, graduate lo!!! ^_^ 

Not only will i miss my special class, Mayflower has also brought me so many bunch of friends that i can never ask for more. No rankings one ah!!!! 

And this is one part of them. These few people bring so much laughters, fun and joy into the last few months of my secondary school life. Night study sessions with them are never boring. Despite being playful, we still mind our duty and are responsible for what our main aim are. All of you are so special to me, we share secrets, talk jokes and gossip together. All these i can never forget. But nope, i wont miss you all because i know, this friendship will go a long way. i love you people muackies!!!! 

My futsal girls. *hugs!!!!!!*
I hope you girls still remember those days when we trained so hard just for a few minutes on court. Not to forget, Mr vicknesh's treat in almost everything which i assumed had definitely cost him a bomb!!! The bond we carved out during our trainings will never be forget. Just like today, we had so much fun taking photo! You girls will definitely be a part of my memory of mayflower. You girls are great, muacks. :) 

My closest girls in class. 
Class will never be the same if it's not for the three of you. I have gone through so much with the three of you, from seeing your ups and downs to providing a shoulder for you all, we've all grown so much. :-) I treasure the three of you so much, never would i dare to imagine life without you three. But now that we have got to part after this year, my heart cringed. But i know our friendship never stops here. I'm waiting for the day your kids call me aunty! winkzzzzzz, i love you all!!! Let's strive hard for our aims girls, you all can do it!!! 

Chinhong, you're not forgotten too ^_^ 
This bunch of assholes, just got bonded so quickly together. The times we spent celebrating together, and most importantly, my 16th birthday had been such a splendid because of the seven of you. God brought us together, and i'll never let us go. and all the crazy things we once did that only we know hahahaha!!! Love you people, partyyyyyyy after o levels!!!!

I can never forget this day. The day when all the broken pieces were mended back for a day, even for just a day. 
You people know what i meant. We have gone our own ways after the separation of classes, but i am so glad that on our graduation day, we came back together, as one. It was so touching, it pulled my heartstrings. Never do i dare to dream that we will be back as one again. But my dearest cheesefries and bistout, you people have made my lower secondary days so memorable. I'm so grateful for that. No matter how we have all turned out to be, you guys will always be my favourite bunch of people. The memories we shared can never be compared with anything else. Those inside jokes and the closeness our two cliques shared, never will i forget. I thank every single one of you who made this photo a success. Now that we're back again after two years, i wish you people to do well in O's!!! so much love for you all <333333333333333

My pillar of strength. 
You girls are like my home. Without you all, it seems that i've got nowhere to belong to. You girls are the one that made my secondary school life extremely fun and exciting. I look forward to school everyday because i know school will always be fun with you girls around. No need to say much, because the day when your children are calling me 'godma' will come soon. Here's to our everlasting friendship, love you girls tonssssssssssss.

If i didnt mention you here, not to worry ok!! probably it just means that i dont have photos with you people!!! Whatever it is, i did not regret coming into Mayflower. Mayflower has brought me way too much memories for me to hold. Never will i forget all these memories, and these bunch of friends that i know, will go a long way with me. Now that i have finally graduated from Mayflower, i can't help but to look back all the way to secondary 1 when i just came into this school. Time flies, but memories stay. 

Happy graduation, students of secondary 4/5 of 2013!!!!