Classic

They say, it will probably not matter in a year's time, in ten years' time, but all I have to say is it hurts so much now because it matters, right now at this moment. 
They say,  don't spend your time on something that won't go anywhere, but all I have to say is no matter how many times I told myself I am so done with your shit, I find myself trying again. 
They say, I will get over this, for this is only a heavy storm in my life, but all I have to say is this storm will probably be the most memorable one, the one I love the most.

They told me I had shed enough tears, they told me not to get hurt over and over again over the same old thing. 
They told me to start looking around for those who stayed, for those who want to stay with me. 
They told me there's this someone who's always there, yet I turned blind whenever I see him. I know about this him, my guilt eats me up whenever I typed my password for somethings. I saw how I ruined such a great man, I saw how I am getting ruined right now. 
They told me to pick myself up, they told me to stop drowning in such fantasized thoughts.

I tried, and I acknowledged the fact that I have so many wonderful souls around me who are willing to fix and accompany me through this period of time. 
I tried, and I love every single one of you who tried your very best to stay by me even though I pushed almost everyone away.
I tried to have things to remain the exact same way, even though at times i fail miserably, I know I still have some shoulders to rely on. I know who is supporting right behind me.

I am so thankful. 
I am so thankful, for you. 
I am so thankful, for you, the one who I am so miserably comfortable with.
I am so thankful for you, the one who I am so miserably comfortable with, the one who I can never leave, never ever. 

I am really thankful for my happy pills, they are literally my strikes of sunshine in this period of dull grey clouds. Thank you people so much, I am so blessed. :-")

quick one

 yay to e-learning week!! which means more sleep more time more happiness yay yay yay :-)))))))))

Week ended quite well with my sunday spending at my new place which I am moving in during september or so!! Really mixed feeling about moving into a whole new unfamiliar area for the first time in my entire life, partly because i am leaving a place i have stayed for nearly 17years and of course, the pros of living near all your friends!!! whatever it is let's just hope for the best hahahaha

This week started off with people wishing me selamat hari raya?!??!!?!?!?!?! yes exactly, i admit i did turned a little bit darker after being in my cca but definitely not to that extent... however it was a really great day until some shit things happened at night as usual. I hope those who i met today enjoyed themselves as much as i did, see you guys soon again, thanks for bringing out my most genuine smile. #oldbutgold

 Never gonna have enough of these four people. Please don't ever leave me you four annoying assholes you guys are a pain in my ass but i love you all way too much muacks

// 

I gave you two paths to walk but if you are not choosing either one of them then kindly leave me alone. Stop toying me, it has really been a while and it's getting on my nerves. You want to do something, do it to the best of your ability if not just get the fuck off. I definitely do not deserve all these shits from you, you're making me so miserably comfortable with you. I deserve way much more, i know that. I need all my dosages of happiness, I know they are around, I just have to search and keep them close to me. Because people like you my dear, you are out to ruin my life. I have so many others I have yet to care for, I shall stop wasting my time on you.

Nights like these shitty thoughts kicked in and all i need to do now is sleep. Rest well guys, till then!!

happy days happy life

To be honest i have zero idea what happened for the past two weeks because it's either filled with so many projects that i just drown myself in all these assignments or i was really busy working for my boss as she has just given birth to a really chubchub baby!!!!! ^_^ other than that it's just school cca school cca sleep, trying my very best to sleep as i was having really bad time trying to sleep due to my assignments.. and yes, my school is that bad. :-( 

Nevertheless, i squeezed out time to meet my four precious no matter how busy i get for they are just like my shelter, really blessed. :-) Thank you girls even though you all are constantly so annoying!!! Missing you all already :( 

The past one week was literally like shit from what i remembered, all the way back from Monday. I was trying to badly to get a breather from everything i was doing, but it was so tough, it was like literally impossible. Time seems to not wait for me, i needed time, i wanted time to slow down. whatever it is, i am glad it's sunday right now and I am really looking forward to a brand new week!! AND OHYA I AM SO GLAD THERE'S LLAOLLAO IN SP, IT'S SUCH A HAPPINESS NOW I WANT TO STUDY IN SP PLS

To be juggling so many things at once is such a chore, I always like to be busy, I like the feeling of being able to sleep once my head touches my pillow, I like how is it like to not overthink at night. But this one whole week was hell, everything i dislike all came back at once, I saw how vulnerable i really was, and I hate that. I hate how now the slightest thing can trigger my deepest emotion, i hate how i over think every single moment this week. It was such a shitty week, i hope everything will come to an end soon, please. My heart aches so badly but i know it's a blessing in disguise, and i could not have anyone to blame except for myself. I know it's the end but no way i will put an end to all these memories. No matter how long my heart continue to ache, i know nothing will ever change. I am happier that you are happier, I am happier that you taught me such a valuable lesson in life. It's really time for me to start caring for those who are constantly by my side, and let go of those who need to go, regardless whether it's intended or not. I know I will be happier, i need to stop feeling so drained, i am the only one who can save myself. Bad days doesn't mean a bad life, i get that. Chin up crystal. :-) 

If you step into my life just to show how gullible and naive i am, then please, fuck off. No point in all those promises when all you can do is just talk. Your words are so cheap, your talks are really pointless, just fucking leave me alone.

July started pretty well and just like this, a week of the new term is gone.. how fast could time get!!! Assignments are slowly piling up and there ain't really much time for me to have fun but nonetheless i am still loving school for the companionship is really good. :-) 

Had another thank god it's Friday friday, but sincere apology to my twin who wanted to have fun but end up i was troubling her the whole night. Nevertheless, i had my fill of fun and it was good meeting my favourite boy after so long. :-)

i guess this is just me, i find it so hard to accept new people. 

the repeated cycle of getting to know each other again, 

building trust and actually debating if that person is worth keeping, 

is just so tiring. 

please don't come in at this time, i am still healing over that one though. 

please don't leave at this time too, i would really need you though. 

Have a good week ahead guys, i can't wait for the arrival for Monday because i am finally meeting my felfel!!! yayyyyyy ^__^

 

read on

 YAY GUYS SORRY FOR THE HIATUS MODE I AM FINALLY BACKZ WITH MY LAPPY YAY YAY CAN'T WAIT TO SHARE MY HAPPINESS WITH YOU PEOPLE!!! indeed my hectic yet so memorable two weeks holidays. :-)

got the kungfu feel right YES YES YES

 

Throwing all the way back to the sunday two weeks ago, which is on the 15th of June, Fathers' Day, even though i missed my family date to celebrate fathers' day(which i felt quite bad) but this volunteering event with my poly babes was really worth it!! We had plentiful of fun, as usual when we have one another though. :-) I PROMISED MY DAD I AM GONNA COMPENSATE HIM BUT TO BE HONEST EVERYDAY SHOULD BE FATHERS' DAY, NOT JUST ON THAT DAY WHAT HAHAHAHA. All in all, it was such a well spent sunday with good food and company kicking in at every moment every second!! *thumbsup! 

The next day i was out with my two bros who hang around in my life ever since secondary1. Really i thank the two of them for such a wonderful day catching up, ticking one of my must watch movie off the bucket, the pancakes also just made our talk so fulfilling. :-)  am so sorryz that i can't find our photo together but i really had my fill of fun that day, thanks guys :-* 

My tuesdate with my girls was equally well because all we do was eat shop eat shop, you know, the typical girls. But something about the bond i feel i have with them just makes every moment so precious, probably because i am really so comfy with them. I mean, i spent like almost four years with them they had seen so many of my ugly sides, so yeap i was really grateful for the whole day out with my girls where we ended our day at weizhen place, as usual ogling at the pool at her neighbour's backyard. My tuesday was so wonderful and i really want these few girls to stay in my life, as long as they can. :-) 

Wednesday and Thursday were spent celebrating mummy chin birthday and work. Love how my mummy never fail to be younger and younger each year, indeed my young mummy. :-) Please stay healthy and happy mummy <3

Was planning to have a stay home Friday to complete my assignments for the holidays but ended up going out with my babes again just because of my dear wani's craving for cakes due to some reasons. I hope you feel really better after seeing us babe, love you always. :-* Cakelove was such a lovely place, a small cosy cafe with great graffiti on the walls, plus a really good place for photo-taking sessions! (thumbsup for this HAHAHA you know girls.) & even though it was just a small outing with just 4/6 of us attended, we never fail to have fun and laugh till our hearts content. Thanks babes. :-* 

best saturday ever!!!!! 

Day started so right attending training with my boaties and it was such a tiring session as we have really started rowing! Still, the encouragements from each other is really one big motivation to keep us going. Thanks baydok :-* Some of us rushed home to prepare for our dragonboat graduation night that was held in school! boring event but still the company was great. :-) Rushed down all the way from clementi to pasir ris at 9pm for ginn's chalet, and it was just nice wenning's birthday that day too! A pity that i missed out the celebration trail for wenning in the afternoon due to my cca but it was so good seeing all these people. Good memories are always coming up to me, how can these people not give me happiness. :-) They say old friends are gold, how true can that be. See you guys soon again, it was such a great night even though you guys disturbed me the moment i reached. :-( 

this photo is too good HAHAHAHA just look at fel face

My another four dosages of happiness. :-) Headed down to pasir ris again (i should had just stayed at ginn's chalet too dumb zzz hahahaha) for wildwildwet with my loves as we had free tickets!! FREE TICKETS PLUS WONDERFUL COMPANY PLUS FUN, TELL ME WHAT ELSE CAN BE BETTER PLS. We went in the afternoon and i swear the amount of people there is damn craycray, making all the rides' queue to be so long!!!! :( & as usual, so much laughter with this bunch of happiness with my dear chester&evelyn being so cute. we ended our day just lazing under the night sky @ orchard central talking bullshits though HAHAHAHA. Can't wait to see them again x  

 

Monday and tuesday were spent on this empowerment camp in ngeeann!! A great opportunity for me to know more about myself as well as knowing more about how people think!!! At the same time, i thank my squad for being such an enthu team(also like the loudest team la HAHAHAH) Pretty amazing how we click so well on the first day even though we only like what, spent few hours together!! & now i can't wait for our meetups again! ALSO WANNA THANK MY DEAR HUIWEN WHO'S SO ON ABOUT GOING THIS CAMP, LUB EU BB ;-) I guess this is why people always say camps are fun, this camp totally proven this point. :') 

I then rushed down to sembawang for Ginn's birthday celebration at baimeefen! Even though it was just a short meetup for her celebration i am glad they had fun before i met them! And especially to my dear xiaobitch, hope you had a wonderful day as well as a wonderful week with the annoying oh!! Whatever i want to say i write in the card already liao la hor, i love you *kissface*

Spent my wednesday and thursday working but i remember catching the fault in our stars!!! It was such an impromtu movie trip after work but i guess that's what make it memorable. :) I thank my company for the movie but to be honest the movie is just..... so-so i guess. the book was indeed way much better, so much for their beautiful art of language. Now i can't wait to catch the transformers!!! ANYONEEEEE:( 

do you still love me

MY GEMS. :') 

Day started with swimming and lazing around at my chantalle's place before we headed for Wimbly Lu's chocolates as i was really craving for chocolates so badly!!! They say your body will crave for chocolates for the substance inside it that will make you happy... i wonder if that's true HAHAH WHATEVER LA. However i really have to say Wimbly Lu was really good, especially their nutella pie and cheesecake(as said by chantalle because i really hate cheese HAHA) The ambience was good with such a great lighting for photos! Did some really stupid and yolo stuffs after we left the cafe but still, good experience with my bitch hehe she said i was really yolo though ;-) We headed to Nanyang Poly for our main motive of the day!! Tricia rushed us to NYP to get our tickets first and my juniors are so cute!!! so heartwarming to see them, really those good old days. :-) Rochelle rushed down after her school and it was such a pity that huiwen have to bee @ malaysia these few days, if not today was our clique day. :( Performance started and i was so in awed, like... literally i wow-ed at all the songs!!! Such a great performance by my conductor and i am so proud for my tricia who played throughout the whole performance even though she's a freshie!!! Goodjob baby :-) we headed to amk area for our dinner, such good memories brought up again because of the times we always lepak and embarrassing ourselves, so lovely((no sarcasm ah HAHAHA)). :') But as usual we embarrassed ourselves so much cos we are always so loud omg you know. Now that we are in different schools i really appreciate times like these when i do not have to worry for anything but just spending time with my girls, like what we can do in the past. So glad that even though distance put us apart, our hearts never do. See you my gems again soon, you all know when hehe ;-) 

INDUCTION CAMP WOOHOOOOOO!!!!!! 
Thank you everyone who made this induction camp so fun and meaningful!! 
i appreciate everyone of you who really put in our hearts to do our activities and i swear we really have the best cheer ever HAHAHA i cannot at the cheer ah guys. *thumbsup!! Glad that i am able to represent the school but even happier that i met you people. :-) Can't wait for our three years together in this!! & i was really lucky to be in the same group as one of my babes in class, lub euu josjos :-* 

Spent nearly two hours on this post and i have not yet showered i feel i am so smelly but dont care so you all dont judge also leh okie HAHAHA. Right now i feel so worn out by the camp but i cant wait for tomorrow because it's my baby cousin's birthday!!! Tell me how do i not feel blessed when i have so many dosages of happiness in my life. Like i promised, a happy post. Hope you all can feel my happiness as i tried putting it across in this post. Whatever that happens to you in life always tell yourself that you are definitely one strong fuck who can withstand and overcome in, what can put you down when you don't allow them to? I hope you people have an enjoyable weekend before the fucking school starts again!!!! i am so smelly i guess i need to shower now hiakhiakhiak

Again, i thank everyone who stayed in my life. :-)