Nearly a quarter after one, and missing you really badly. Definitely not the song but a true deep felt ouch i tried to suppress for the whole of this period. I did all i can to not let this feeling resurface but apparently it's so strong. Told myself to put you down after all the crap you did and reminding myself how a jerk you are but no, these memories aint leaving. They are staying, for real. 

And to receive such a huge dealt while in the meanwhile of the fucking painful process means a double or even triple burden. The pain increased, until you can literally feel your heart cringing. Yeah that's it, the feeling that can't be said but felt, the pain that comes to me every single night without fail. 

And knowing you are disappointing people unknowingly can't be any better either. Hope things could turn out for the better i surely need a trip down the beach, for the sea for the breathe i have been longing for ages.