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 YAY GUYS SORRY FOR THE HIATUS MODE I AM FINALLY BACKZ WITH MY LAPPY YAY YAY CAN'T WAIT TO SHARE MY HAPPINESS WITH YOU PEOPLE!!! indeed my hectic yet so memorable two weeks holidays. :-)

got the kungfu feel right YES YES YES

 

Throwing all the way back to the sunday two weeks ago, which is on the 15th of June, Fathers' Day, even though i missed my family date to celebrate fathers' day(which i felt quite bad) but this volunteering event with my poly babes was really worth it!! We had plentiful of fun, as usual when we have one another though. :-) I PROMISED MY DAD I AM GONNA COMPENSATE HIM BUT TO BE HONEST EVERYDAY SHOULD BE FATHERS' DAY, NOT JUST ON THAT DAY WHAT HAHAHAHA. All in all, it was such a well spent sunday with good food and company kicking in at every moment every second!! *thumbsup! 

The next day i was out with my two bros who hang around in my life ever since secondary1. Really i thank the two of them for such a wonderful day catching up, ticking one of my must watch movie off the bucket, the pancakes also just made our talk so fulfilling. :-)  am so sorryz that i can't find our photo together but i really had my fill of fun that day, thanks guys :-* 

My tuesdate with my girls was equally well because all we do was eat shop eat shop, you know, the typical girls. But something about the bond i feel i have with them just makes every moment so precious, probably because i am really so comfy with them. I mean, i spent like almost four years with them they had seen so many of my ugly sides, so yeap i was really grateful for the whole day out with my girls where we ended our day at weizhen place, as usual ogling at the pool at her neighbour's backyard. My tuesday was so wonderful and i really want these few girls to stay in my life, as long as they can. :-) 

Wednesday and Thursday were spent celebrating mummy chin birthday and work. Love how my mummy never fail to be younger and younger each year, indeed my young mummy. :-) Please stay healthy and happy mummy <3

Was planning to have a stay home Friday to complete my assignments for the holidays but ended up going out with my babes again just because of my dear wani's craving for cakes due to some reasons. I hope you feel really better after seeing us babe, love you always. :-* Cakelove was such a lovely place, a small cosy cafe with great graffiti on the walls, plus a really good place for photo-taking sessions! (thumbsup for this HAHAHA you know girls.) & even though it was just a small outing with just 4/6 of us attended, we never fail to have fun and laugh till our hearts content. Thanks babes. :-* 

best saturday ever!!!!! 

Day started so right attending training with my boaties and it was such a tiring session as we have really started rowing! Still, the encouragements from each other is really one big motivation to keep us going. Thanks baydok :-* Some of us rushed home to prepare for our dragonboat graduation night that was held in school! boring event but still the company was great. :-) Rushed down all the way from clementi to pasir ris at 9pm for ginn's chalet, and it was just nice wenning's birthday that day too! A pity that i missed out the celebration trail for wenning in the afternoon due to my cca but it was so good seeing all these people. Good memories are always coming up to me, how can these people not give me happiness. :-) They say old friends are gold, how true can that be. See you guys soon again, it was such a great night even though you guys disturbed me the moment i reached. :-( 

this photo is too good HAHAHAHA just look at fel face

My another four dosages of happiness. :-) Headed down to pasir ris again (i should had just stayed at ginn's chalet too dumb zzz hahahaha) for wildwildwet with my loves as we had free tickets!! FREE TICKETS PLUS WONDERFUL COMPANY PLUS FUN, TELL ME WHAT ELSE CAN BE BETTER PLS. We went in the afternoon and i swear the amount of people there is damn craycray, making all the rides' queue to be so long!!!! :( & as usual, so much laughter with this bunch of happiness with my dear chester&evelyn being so cute. we ended our day just lazing under the night sky @ orchard central talking bullshits though HAHAHAHA. Can't wait to see them again x  

 

Monday and tuesday were spent on this empowerment camp in ngeeann!! A great opportunity for me to know more about myself as well as knowing more about how people think!!! At the same time, i thank my squad for being such an enthu team(also like the loudest team la HAHAHAH) Pretty amazing how we click so well on the first day even though we only like what, spent few hours together!! & now i can't wait for our meetups again! ALSO WANNA THANK MY DEAR HUIWEN WHO'S SO ON ABOUT GOING THIS CAMP, LUB EU BB ;-) I guess this is why people always say camps are fun, this camp totally proven this point. :') 

I then rushed down to sembawang for Ginn's birthday celebration at baimeefen! Even though it was just a short meetup for her celebration i am glad they had fun before i met them! And especially to my dear xiaobitch, hope you had a wonderful day as well as a wonderful week with the annoying oh!! Whatever i want to say i write in the card already liao la hor, i love you *kissface*

Spent my wednesday and thursday working but i remember catching the fault in our stars!!! It was such an impromtu movie trip after work but i guess that's what make it memorable. :) I thank my company for the movie but to be honest the movie is just..... so-so i guess. the book was indeed way much better, so much for their beautiful art of language. Now i can't wait to catch the transformers!!! ANYONEEEEE:( 

do you still love me

MY GEMS. :') 

Day started with swimming and lazing around at my chantalle's place before we headed for Wimbly Lu's chocolates as i was really craving for chocolates so badly!!! They say your body will crave for chocolates for the substance inside it that will make you happy... i wonder if that's true HAHAH WHATEVER LA. However i really have to say Wimbly Lu was really good, especially their nutella pie and cheesecake(as said by chantalle because i really hate cheese HAHA) The ambience was good with such a great lighting for photos! Did some really stupid and yolo stuffs after we left the cafe but still, good experience with my bitch hehe she said i was really yolo though ;-) We headed to Nanyang Poly for our main motive of the day!! Tricia rushed us to NYP to get our tickets first and my juniors are so cute!!! so heartwarming to see them, really those good old days. :-) Rochelle rushed down after her school and it was such a pity that huiwen have to bee @ malaysia these few days, if not today was our clique day. :( Performance started and i was so in awed, like... literally i wow-ed at all the songs!!! Such a great performance by my conductor and i am so proud for my tricia who played throughout the whole performance even though she's a freshie!!! Goodjob baby :-) we headed to amk area for our dinner, such good memories brought up again because of the times we always lepak and embarrassing ourselves, so lovely((no sarcasm ah HAHAHA)). :') But as usual we embarrassed ourselves so much cos we are always so loud omg you know. Now that we are in different schools i really appreciate times like these when i do not have to worry for anything but just spending time with my girls, like what we can do in the past. So glad that even though distance put us apart, our hearts never do. See you my gems again soon, you all know when hehe ;-) 

INDUCTION CAMP WOOHOOOOOO!!!!!! 
Thank you everyone who made this induction camp so fun and meaningful!! 
i appreciate everyone of you who really put in our hearts to do our activities and i swear we really have the best cheer ever HAHAHA i cannot at the cheer ah guys. *thumbsup!! Glad that i am able to represent the school but even happier that i met you people. :-) Can't wait for our three years together in this!! & i was really lucky to be in the same group as one of my babes in class, lub euu josjos :-* 

Spent nearly two hours on this post and i have not yet showered i feel i am so smelly but dont care so you all dont judge also leh okie HAHAHA. Right now i feel so worn out by the camp but i cant wait for tomorrow because it's my baby cousin's birthday!!! Tell me how do i not feel blessed when i have so many dosages of happiness in my life. Like i promised, a happy post. Hope you all can feel my happiness as i tried putting it across in this post. Whatever that happens to you in life always tell yourself that you are definitely one strong fuck who can withstand and overcome in, what can put you down when you don't allow them to? I hope you people have an enjoyable weekend before the fucking school starts again!!!! i am so smelly i guess i need to shower now hiakhiakhiak

Again, i thank everyone who stayed in my life. :-)  

" Your heart is going to break a million times. 
It's going to feel like the world is falling apart around you.
Your lungs will stop working some nights. 
You find yourself grabbing at your bones trying to hold yourself together. 
You're going to feel like you're dying. 
It's going to be okay. 
You'll find someone else to kiss you goodnight. "

Night made reading this, loving how my pills of happiness are always making me feeling so blessed. can't wait to share with you guys how lovely my holidays are coming about but hang on for a little while more!! I promise you guys there will really be tons of visuals coming up, stay happy guys!!! :-')

so what

I am missing you so badly that my heart aches. It aches even more, to the extent of cringing when i know you are never ever coming back anymore. I miss you so much that even so much is unable to bring out how much i miss you because this missing you part is inflicting way too much pain.

You are amazing. 

The urgent urge to pen these current annoying thoughts running on my mind right now. This feeling is killing me so badly that i need to vent it out. Don't mind guys, but first some visuals to update!!!

School has been really really busy and tiring with all the assignments deadlines and the test that had just passed. Still, girls in class and people around me are really very nice, and i know that's what keeps me going. Poly life really ain't easy at all, especially how i need to get used to this type of heavily assignment-based course. Term break is next week and yet we have so many assignments due right after this break. WHAT BREAK IS THIS GUYS TELL ME 

Other than school i am really loving how my friends and i just pick out some time for one another out of our really busy schedule!!! Right here i sincerely thank those who actually put in the effort to talk and ask how am i, even more to those who asked me out. :-) & i can't wait to meet my girls, it has been so long ever since we met. But times like this I realized, how much they meant to me, not the usual me who always emphasizes that they matter, but those type of absence makes the heart grow really fonder type of importance. Times like this I also come to the point that i am a really blessed lady with so many people around me, i am really grateful for everyone, especially during such hard times. Those laughters and love people are giving me, how i love them. Those simple gestures of " eh cheerup leh" are so overwhelming,i guess this is what people mean by appreciating the small little things in life. Only then, we will be happy. 

       

I have to be honest right now, this feeling never left me. It stayed with me ever since a long time ago. No matter how hard i try to kick this frustration in me off, it stays, it doesn't want to leave me. It pricks me so hard to see how i ruined every single thing in my life. I hate myself, how i often come to the point of losing every single one in my life at once. I hate myself for not appreciating what's nice and in piece at the first place, i hate myself for not appreciating people efforts right from the beginning, i hate how i always take people for granted and when they leave, i complain. Just when can i come to my senses that i have to stop hurting people. Just when can i stop hurting people with my words, with my ignorance. This feeling is totally indescribable, just imagine how perfect things were, and knowing that your actions destroyed the whole image, you just want to hibernate forever. When is it that i can stop deceiving myself that i am not the one that caused all these to happen, when? Why is it that i could not even find words to convey my feelings but only drown myself in what is wrong to curb my sadness? Why is it that i just go on hurting people just to cover up my vulnerable side? I just want to stop all these, i need to digest the fact that this is our fucked up society, we hurt people just because people hurt us. So so much emotions running in me right now, i don't wanna show it out. I forbid myself in releasing them out, but fucking hell it hurts a fucking whole lot. I should stop thinking that i gave in a whole fucking lot when the other party just thinks i am not even putting in any efforts. And this is the exact reason why people stop trying. 

Just this. This so much. Now then i realized how fortunate and blessed i was, as compared to now when i have to pick all my shattered pieces up to face the world every single day, it's fucking hell tiring. Then again, i see how everyone is feeling the same, and i wonder why. Why is it so hard for every single one of us to gain what we want. That little bit of happiness. It all boils down to something, we are all seeking our own happiness. So don't hinder in others way when they are searching for it, especially if they found it. And right now, who am i to stand in your way? Just because we are strangers with so much memories, who know each other really well, or just because i want to? So is it just me, or even you, who do not want to put this in our past? I just keep on building and building more walls, so sorry to all those who try to come in. Just because i am someone who treasure all type of ships, it doesn't necessary mean i will always hold people back. If you are so insisted in leaving, it's already in you, that you want to leave. So go ahead, don't ever fucking look back then, don't ever try to come back and mend these broken pieces

Fuck this i can't go on anymore