Wednesday, March 28, 2012
First time ever i felt so much hate this year. This year, everything came crashing down, in the past no matter how things crashed, i will always find ways and means to fix everything back. Perhaps sometimes i just took things for granted, that when i thought they will never fall, fell. But it turned out that the friendship we are having is having a crisis, and we are all unhappy. We fell, and things are not the same now. Hopefully it's just temporarily. I've so much to say, so much I want to get off my chest so much so that I have no idea where I should start from. How should I put this... My life is like a record put on replay, day after day. The same old things happening everyday, which is of course a bad thing because I hate how I feel right now. I should've known better. I did, I knew, but instead of pulling myself out of the situation, I let myself fall deeper, knowing that I'd probably land myself into a pile of shit, get myself tangled in some mess again. Which I did. And this, is what I hate most about myself. So easily, stupidly, foolishly. Just..... dumb. I just hope everyone will be back to their old self. because i promise, i will. at least, i am sure we will be strong. For a moment, i am strong. But who will be as strong as me, to think that i cried for the whole afternoon and night after things happened. That feeling of being abandon, that feeling of drifting, 说不出的痛. i just cant describe how everything just hurt. i dont want to talk about you. many told me long ago they knew something will happen. but i didnt believe, i trusted you. i know we can make the best out of nothing. and i wish all these wont last. god, just let it be temporarily. i will try to make everything okay. i will be the strongest girl anyone has ever met.
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