i guess all the emotions inside me are killing me. i am so not sure of how i am feeling. it's like a mixture of alot feelings. regardless of happy, sad, remissness, excitement or what. it's like, i cant stop thinking. i wonder how are you now, i wonder how come you like her, i wonder if we will turn out as a pair. so many wonders, yet unsolved. how to stop all these feelings? my feelings are on and off. i am afraid i would hurt you just like how i hurt others. no no we cant be. i guess the most is being best friends. things started to get a little haywire these few weeks, or isit just me, myself, that i think things are getting haywire? i am starting to keep everything to myself again, let a bit of it went yesterday during my talk with the sampats. but the rest.. to who? you, you, or you? who to tell things to now, exactly? not that i dont trust people, but whenever i do, somethings they do totally made me change my mind. do you people need to do that? i just need that someone who will always be there for me, and could allow me to rely on them forever, and to share all my feelings with them. i know i am asking for too much, but i admit, i am still a weak person. the inner me is totally breaking down. i feel like i am having so many different personalities. i can be a strong and happy girl, or a super duper depressed teenager - allowing all those over thinkings during night times killing me. i feel so unsafe whenever now and then, i am so afraid of people leaving me, i am so afraid that someday i will be alone. sometimes being alone is what i like, i cant tolerate the feeling of being alone. imagine, i think that's disastrous. i know many will say they are always there for me, but i am so afraid to tell. what if i got judged by this judgemental society? what if that person goes around spreading about that? my level of trust for people is fucking low now. perhaps i should just give myself a slap soon. i think i typed a bunch of rubbish alr

the best things that can happen to me, and i wanna them to happen badly. ^ above please

I wonder if you think the same way as i do 

exactly how i am feeling now i guess 

and hell no god damn i am running out of confidence. anyone knows where to buy the bottle of confidence medicine? :') x thanks alot 


I WANNA BE LIKE THE GIRL ABOVE. she's god damn fucking pretty. can i be like her? pretty pretty please. i envy girls with pretty hair, big eyes, and that mesmerizing smile. MY GOSH. i know i should be contented or what, but who actually is contented with themselves? I just pray that sometimes when i wake up from sleep i will become a pretty woman. HAHA THAT'D BE AWESOME :) 


so much cravings for an iphone for no reason. 


"SORRY MY DEAR HEART, FOR MAKING YOU SUFFER WITH ALL THE HEARTACHES. 跟自己说声对不起，因为总是莫名的忧伤；跟自己说声对不起，因为为了别人为难了自己；跟自己说声对不起，因为伪装让自己很累；跟自己说声对不起，因为总是学不会遗忘；跟自己说声对不起，因为很多东西没有好好珍惜；跟自己说声对不起，因为倔强让自己受伤... "


have a great march holidays ahead everyone, sorry if i have dragged your mood down :') love all of you out there muas