it was 1st november yesterday and our class outing was held at marcus's place's function room and i am glad nearly 3/4 of my classmates came. thank you everyone for the first ever success 3j class outing for our dearest mr chen. :) photos will be up soon!!!!! :)
Have been going back to school every single day for supp classes and cca. have also been very busy with my upcoming chinese Os... sigh. sure gonna have fun after my chinese Os!!! so many things planned. excited!!!
Was in school today since 9am, all the way to 9pm. dafug was i doing..... time seems to pass so fast!!! Got free dinner in school today, yayness and i reached home at 10pm, hahaha congrats to me. Saw something i shouldnt see during the day and it kind of messed up all my thinkings... stupid crystal.
funny how we ourselves could never help ourselves with our problems yet we are always there to help people with their problems. it's just... human character i feel? Today was bad. Way too bad. Couldnt even describe how was i feeling. All the emotions just come kicking in, eating me alive and yet we couldnt show anything out. So much memories and flashbacks just came back, all at once. I felt like a loser, such a sore loser, such a failure. i cant help but to feel to dig a hole and hide myself inside. i was so ashamed of myself, i couldnt keep people with me. everyone leave or should i say, they left. everyone left. at moment like these you will know, its always just you and only you yourself fighting against the whole world. i am getting so numb, i just dont know how to feel. there's so much within me that i want to say, that i need to say, but yet nothing just comes out. and with the help of period this feeling gets so much stronger, my mood swings so easily nowadays. sigh, just gotta suck everything back in.
" even in the darkest tunnel, keep walking towards the light. "
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